Tips to get the most from therapy – Five tips from a therapist 

If you want therapy to make a real difference, it helps to know how to utilise the space effectively. As a therapist and someone who has been in your position as a client, I want to share some practical tips to help you maximise your sessions, whether you’re just starting or have been attending for a while.

These aren’t rules — just practical, judgment-free insights based on what I’ve learned from sitting on both sides of the therapy room. Whether you’re starting or feeling a bit stuck, here’s how to get the most from your therapy.

1. Attend Regularly (Even When You Don’t Feel Like It)

Therapy is similar to going to the gym — not every session feels groundbreaking, but showing up regularly builds emotional strength.  When clients fail to attend regularly, it can hinder their progress. Irregular sessions can make it harder to maintain momentum; you forget what we discussed, we have to catch up, and progress slows down.

Avoidance is a common, unhelpful coping strategy that often arises with anxiety. Attending therapy confronts your fears, and skipping sessions only reinforces that avoidance. Knowing you have a session scheduled can be a great support when you’re struggling between sessions. What doesn’t work well is booking a session during a crisis and then not returning until the next crisis arises.

I understand that for some, attending weekly isn’t practical due to financial constraints or scheduling issues. That’s okay; you can attend less often. The key is to commit to attending and then follow through, whether weekly, biweekly, or monthly.

Regular attendance builds trust, structure, and safety — and you deserve all three.

Not sure what to expect on your first session?  Here’s a guide to your first session with me

2. Be Open — With Me and With Yourself

It’s okay to come in and say, “I don’t know where to start”, or “I am not sure what I am feeling.”  You don’t need to find the perfect words. 

Often, the important topics are difficult to express because they involve feelings that are hard to articulate. Healing comes through the process of understanding events and feelings while trying to express them. Therapy works best when you’re honest — not just with me, but with yourself. Many clients hesitate to admit “negative” feelings, such as anger, resentment, or jealousy, for fear of judgment. The truth is, we all wrestle with these feelings, and that’s perfectly okay.

Sometimes we want to avoid facing certain things. We may downplay, deflect, or sidestep difficult conversations, which can be a protective strategy outside the therapy room. However, part of the work involves gently unpacking these issues over time. This is a confidential space where you can discuss anything — thoughts you’re ashamed of, feelings you don’t fully understand, or things you’ve never voiced before.

This can feel hard at first, but don’t worry; I’ll guide you through the process and ask questions to help you explore your thoughts and emotions. If you notice a desire to avoid a difficult topic, that’s often a clue avoidance is showing up – even just seeing the pattern is a big step forward!

3. Be Willing to Change (Even If It’s Uncomfortable)

It’s a cliché, but true: if you keep doing what you’ve always done, you’ll keep getting the same results. Sometimes, growth means setting boundaries, stopping harmful patterns, or challenging long-held beliefs. You might discover that your way of viewing the world — your “filters” — isn’t helpful. 

For example, maybe you’ve always believed that people will leave if you show weakness. In therapy, we’ll gently challenge those beliefs and explore where they came from.

Therapy helps you identify these patterns, but you must be willing to let go of them. 

4. Put the Work In

The real magic of therapy often happens outside of the room when you test out what you have learned in real life. Real change occurs in the space between, when you reflect, try something new, or confront a feeling instead of avoiding it.   For example, you might finally face that difficult conversation you have been avoiding and grow as a result.

To help you, I often provide resources, such as journal prompts or reading suggestions, to use between sessions.

5. Be Willing to Feel Uncomfortable

Progress in therapy doesn’t always feel good, but discomfort can be a positive sign that you’re on the right track. Therapy can bring issues to the surface and challenge the status quo. Discomfort is a signal that you’re stretching, growing, and healing. It’s a sign that you’re facing your fears and making progress. For example, anxiety may lead you to avoid “triggers,” but part of recovery involves confronting those triggers directly. Initially, this may increase your anxiety, but over time, it will diminish as you gain confidence.

It’s natural to feel shaken after a session that hits a nerve. That doesn’t mean you’re doing therapy “wrong,  it means you’re getting closer to what matters.

Ready to Take the Next Step?

If you’re looking for therapy that’s practical, compassionate, and genuinely supportive, let’s chat. I offer a free 20-minute phone consultation to see if we’re a good fit.

Appointments are available online or in person in Birkenhead or Chester.

Click below to book your free call.

Still feeling unsure about starting therapy? You might find it helpful to read my blog on what to expect in your first session — it answers common questions and gives you a sense of what working together might feel like.