What is social anxiety?

Sarah (not an actual client) is a 32-year-old marketing professional. Sarah loves her job and values connecting with colleagues but dreads team meetings. Before each meeting, she feels a knot in her stomach and rehearses what to say repeatedly, fearing she’ll embarrass herself. During the meeting, she avoids eye contact and speaks as little as possible. Afterwards, she replays the entire event, worrying she sounded foolish or annoyed someone.

Sarah often declines social invites from colleagues, even though she wants to build relationships. She feels isolated and frustrated with herself and can’t understand why she struggles so much socially, as other aspects of her life are going well.

Although Sarah isn’t an actual client, many of my clients have talked about similar experiences with social anxiety.

Social anxiety is one of the most common forms of anxiety—according to NICE, it affects up to 12% of the UK population. It is more than just being nervous in social settings.  It is a deep-seated fear that can interfere with daily life, relationships and career opportunities.  I have known of people being so affected by social anxiety that even the thought of paying for shopping caused feelings of panic.

Is social anxiety the same as shyness or introversion?

Social anxiety isn’t the same as shyness or introversion, though they can sometimes overlap. Here’s the difference:

• Shyness is a personality trait. A shy person might feel reserved in new situations but usually warms up as they get comfortable.
• Introversion refers to a preference for quieter, less stimulating environments. Introverts often enjoy spending time alone or in small groups, but this is a personal preference rather than a fear of social interaction.
• Social anxiety, on the other hand, is an intense fear of social interaction. It often causes anxiety before, during, and even after a social event. For example, someone with social anxiety might replay a conversation in their mind for hours, worrying they said something wrong.

People with social anxiety can appear outgoing to others because they often mask their anxiety well.  Many people with social anxiety are very popular and speak well in public.  However, this masking takes a toll and before and after social events they can really struggle.

Symptoms of social anxiety

Physical Symptoms

• Sweating
• A sinking feeling in the stomach
• Shakiness
• Heart palpitations
• Feeling dizzy
• Panic attacks (in extreme cases)

Emotional symptoms

• Intense self-consciousness
• Worry about how others perceive you.
• Persistent thoughts like:
  • “What if I said or did something wrong?”
  • “Did I offend someone with my joke?”
  • “Why am I so boring?”
  • “Nobody likes me.”

These symptoms can make even everyday interactions feel overwhelming. People with social anxiety may crave connection but find themselves withdrawing from social situations out of fear, leading to loneliness and isolation. Others may push through social events but constantly worry, dread, and replay interactions in their minds.

Social anxiety is far more than feeling nervous about speaking in public or meeting new people—it’s a deep-seated fear that can significantly impact one’s quality of life.

If any of this sounds familiar, I want you to know that you can recover from it with the right help.  You may have been told to stop worrying by people who don’t understand anxiety, but the issue is it’s not as simple as that.  When you are in the grip of anxiety, your body goes into fight/flight mode, and you become overwhelmed with frightening physical sensations in your body as your heart starts to race.  If it were as easy as just deciding not to feel anxious anymore you wouldn’t be struggling.

It does take time, but I promise that you can recover from this and start to enjoy socialising again.

How Can Counselling Help with Social Anxiety?

Therapy can be transformative for social anxiety.  On your first session, we work together to develop an understanding of your issues, goals and preferences, and from there, we decide on the approaches that will be best for you.

I offer a range of approaches, including:

Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT)

CBT is a practical, solution-focused therapy shown to be highly effective for social anxiety. According to a 2014 study in the Lancet, “CBT should be regarded as the best intervention for the treatment of social anxiety disorder”.

CBT helps you:

Understand Thoughts and Beliefs: Identify and challenge unhelpful thinking patterns that fuel anxiety.

Reframe Negative Thoughts: Shift from self-critical thinking to more balanced perspectives.

Step Out of Your Comfort Zone: Gradual exposure to feared situations can reduce anxiety over time.

Learn Coping Strategies: Develop tools like breathing techniques, mindfulness exercises, and preparation for events.

Improve Social Skills: Practice open body language and positive habits to encourage connection.

Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT)

ACT focuses on accepting uncomfortable feelings instead of fighting them. With ACT, we:

• Explore your values and what matters most to you.

• Develop strategies to take meaningful actions despite anxiety.

• Build resilience by learning to make space for difficult emotions.

Person-Centred Therapy

This approach provides a safe, non-judgmental space to explore your feelings and experiences at your own pace. It’s especially helpful for:

• Building self-awareness

• Enhancing self-acceptance

• Gaining clarity on your personal needs and goals

What to Expect from Counselling Sessions

Your therapy journey is entirely tailored to your needs. Here’s what you can expect:

• Sessions at Your Pace: You’re never pushed to do anything you’re not ready for.
• Practical Tools: Each session equips you with actionable strategies to manage anxiety.
• Flexible Duration: Most people benefit from 6-8 sessions, but some may need more or less. You can pause or stop anytime.

Take the First Step

If social anxiety is holding you back, know that change is possible. With the right support, you can feel more confident and comfortable in social situations.  I know it can feel hard to reach out for help so I have a couple of options for you to get started.

• Book a free introductory phone Session: To find out more click the BOOK NOW button below and schedule a free 20 minute phone chat to find out more about therapy with me

• Have Questions? Click here to contact me

I offer counselling face-to-face in Chester and Birkenhead, Wirral and online with evening and daytime appointments available.

You don’t have to face social anxiety alone. Let’s work together to help you regain control and confidence.